back in the late 80's. I'm catching up to the person in the back of the group when, out of the blue, he stops and sits on a stone bench in the neighbors garden. At this point, he puts his glasses on and goes to the door. Too much to explain. One night after heavy drinking, she got pulled over. 19 more crazy funny police reports. A hammer tucked in her waistline. So to keep spirits up, police have to have a pretty good sense of humor. I curated these funny stories from funny Tumblr stories. "1-1, be advised, suspect is now armed and attempting to flee.". They pointed multiple guns at a guy for erratic driving and giggling? I call him up so he can measure a specific thing on his face for a snorkeling mask I need to buy. It was a stormy winter night and my reason for speeding I told him was the hockey game is on and the radio is not working. 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My bad. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. You can almost hear the cop thinking "not worth it" as he stops at the edge of … ... FOUR police cars arrive in thirty seconds; their precinct is a half-mile down the street. 3. Edit: Not Michelangelo. ._2cHgYGbfV9EZMSThqLt2tx{margin-bottom:16px;border-radius:4px}._3Q7WCNdCi77r0_CKPoDSFY{width:75%;height:24px}._2wgLWvNKnhoJX3DUVT_3F-,._3Q7WCNdCi77r0_CKPoDSFY{background:var(--newCommunityTheme-field);background-size:200%;margin-bottom:16px;border-radius:4px}._2wgLWvNKnhoJX3DUVT_3F-{width:100%;height:46px} Wow, I'm amazed that you gave them a third chance. Pecadillo_ Cop here. Sometimes it's even more ridiculous. And the candle was to burn the body and the evidence. They just had her sit down and wait for me. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/ReredditLink.f7b66a91705891e84a09.css.map*/My dads partner is furious and when they arrive at the station he just says "get the jailor", not wanting to even remove the guy from the car he was that done with the situation. A black shadow shot across my car “I was sitting monitoring a stop sign late at night, somewhere around 2-3 in the morning. ._3Im6OD67aKo33nql4FpSp_{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetBorderColor);border-radius:5px 5px 4px 4px;overflow:visible;word-wrap:break-word;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);padding:12px}.lnK0-OzG7nLFydTWuXGcY{font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;padding-bottom:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-navIcon)} We weren't even sure how she got there. I was speeding while on my way home, I wanted to get home then go over to my girlfriends. - r/AskReddit Subscribe for more Brainy Memes and Tumblr Posts. Like just run after them for sport? remember that video from yesterday? My dad resumes position on the right side of the car, and his partner begins trying to question the man. Cop comes to the window, starts asking her questions. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. We didn't have animal control on our base, so the MP's and the DoD police were the ones who dealt with strays and such. People on this can behave very violently and can be very difficult to subdue, often injuring officers in the attempt. So I thought better of it, but it on a wooden pole and took a couple of shots and then placed it in the grass (in the same direction it was heading). And that’s the story of how my entire block found out that the abandoned house had new owners. My dad went back to his car to write the ticket and the speeder lit up a … Officers are interviewing involved parties out front. Ran the length of a couple buildings when I noticed I was approaching the field - and whaddya know, there was a crowd of people. 1. At this point my dad draws his gun and keeps it lowered and sees two more squad cars rapidly approaching. ._33axOHPa8DzNnTmwzen-wO{display:block;padding:0 16px;width:100%}.isNotInButtons2020 ._33axOHPa8DzNnTmwzen-wO{font-size:14px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:32px;text-transform:uppercase} /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/IdCard.0f76af1b61e8e247d28f.css.map*/._2JU2WQDzn5pAlpxqChbxr7{height:16px;margin-right:8px;width:16px}._3E45je-29yDjfFqFcLCXyH{margin-top:16px}._13YtS_rCnVZG1ns2xaCalg{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._1m5fPZN4q3vKVg9SgU43u2{margin-top:12px}._17A-IdW3j1_fI_pN-8tMV-{display:inline-block;margin-bottom:8px;margin-right:5px}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY{border-radius:20px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;letter-spacing:0;line-height:16px;padding:3px 10px;text-transform:none}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY:focus{outline:unset} I asked her some questions and for ID, and she didn't seem to understand anything. and ran in his house. Read for yourself! The security guys had video of her putting things in her pockets and purse, but she wouldn't respond when I asked her about it. At him fidgetting, my dad and his partner get a bit nervous and my dads partner once again asks what is in the back of his pants. Shucked off my jacket in a flash, grabbed a discarded styrofoam cup and took off my glasses, then leaned against the wall next to a bunch of people. Want to watch more amazing Reddit stories? Do you want to lose your nose?" 2. I am not a cop but was told about 3 years ago that what I said was the funniest thing he has heard in a long time (older cop). Start sprinting, a couple seconds later I hear a shout "hey you! Kids obviously keep running so I announce that i'm in a foot chase and start after them. Liang Xiao’s Suicidal Suicide-Stopping Dive. We stumbled onto a little pile of gold last Thursday on reddit. He blew somewhere in the mid .20’s so he wasn’t even close to legal. My dad walks around the car and sees the object the man was hiding. Call for loud house party. He hears his partner mutter something, but doesnt quite understand, so once again demands what is it. Back door comes flying wide open and about a half dozen kids come running out of the house. My friend used to be an alcoholic and would constantly drive drunk. Fresh AskReddit Stories: Trolling law enforcement - what's your story? He rarely ever gets to write one, so this is one of his favorite stories. Did you crack a smile, play it off cool, etc? Thus, my dad immediately calls in a report of someone on PCP and requests assistance. My dad exits the squad car and proceeds over to the right side of the car they pulled over. Who doesn't love stories of crime gone wrong or police getting called into highly ridiculous situations? No firearm use, though. Cookies help us deliver our Services. A family member of mine- He was sitting by a red light and saw someone speed through it. It was a bright red stiletto high heeled shoe, with the heel imbedded firmly in the mans rectum. By. Wife steals bacon from the fridge. Off he went, and I couldn't believe my fucking luck. ._9ZuQyDXhFth1qKJF4KNm8{padding:12px 12px 40px}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM,._1JmnMJclrTwTPpAip5U_Hm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);margin-bottom:40px;padding-top:4px}._306gA2lxjCHX44ssikUp3O{margin-bottom:32px}._1Omf6afKRpv3RKNCWjIyJ4{font-size:18px;font-weight:500;line-height:22px;border-bottom:2px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line);color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);margin-bottom:8px;padding-bottom:8px}._2Ss7VGMX-UPKt9NhFRtgTz{margin-bottom:24px}._3vWu4F9B4X4Yc-Gm86-FMP{border-bottom:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line);margin-bottom:8px;padding-bottom:2px}._3vWu4F9B4X4Yc-Gm86-FMP:last-of-type{border-bottom-width:0}._2qAEe8HGjtHsuKsHqNCa9u{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);padding-bottom:8px;padding-top:8px}.c5RWd-O3CYE-XSLdTyjtI{padding:8px 0}._3whORKuQps-WQpSceAyHuF{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon);margin-bottom:8px}._1Qk-ka6_CJz1fU3OUfeznu{margin-bottom:8px}._3ds8Wk2l32hr3hLddQshhG{font-weight:500}._1h0r6vtgOzgWtu-GNBO6Yb,._3ds8Wk2l32hr3hLddQshhG{font-size:12px;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._1h0r6vtgOzgWtu-GNBO6Yb{font-weight:400}.horIoLCod23xkzt7MmTpC{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:#ea0027}._33Iw1wpNZ-uhC05tWsB9xi{margin-top:24px}._2M7LQbQxH40ingJ9h9RslL{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon);margin-bottom:8px} She responds by spitting out coins while answering. I wasn't a "real" cop, but I was Air Force Security Forces (military police) and I was dispatched to the Base Exchange (essentially, a small shopping mall) for a shoplifting call. The police don’t like it when you call them to insult your spouse Welp, it’s safe to say that some people are completely unaware of what warrants a call to the police. Advertise. @keyframes ibDwUVR1CAykturOgqOS5{0%{transform:rotate(0deg)}to{transform:rotate(1turn)}}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq{--sizePx:0;font-size:4px;position:relative;text-indent:-9999em;border-radius:50%;border:4px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyTextAlpha20);border-left-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);transform:translateZ(0);animation:ibDwUVR1CAykturOgqOS5 1.1s linear infinite}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq,._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq:after{width:var(--sizePx);height:var(--sizePx)}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq:after{border-radius:50%}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq._2qr28EeyPvBWAsPKl-KuWN{margin:0 auto} Press J to jump to the feed. Thankfully Canadians love hockey. ._3gbb_EMFXxTYrxDZ2kusIp{margin-bottom:24px;text-transform:uppercase;width:100%}._3gbb_EMFXxTYrxDZ2kusIp:last-child{margin-bottom:10px} So the moral of the story is always drive with a vial of horse semen between your breasts in case you get pulled over. 5. Summer Smith-August 30, 2013. He told me this funny story: One day he pulled this woman over for speeding. Sadly, some of my fellow officers have recently ended up shooting a few nuisance dogs, which has been spun … One of the DoD police officers used his night stick to push the turtle off the road. Responding officers discovered it was, in fact, a full grown tom turkey. r/PoliceStories: An offical subreddit dedicated to the game Police Stories. Some of these seem too ridiculous to be true Because the police blotter is endlessly entertaining, we present you with the second installment of crazy funny police reports. ._12xlue8dQ1odPw1J81FIGQ{display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle} She had a small notepad in her bra strap. Here in NV, property owners have the legal right to dispatch wildlife that are damaging, aggressive, or injuring anything. Cops of reddit, what was the funniest situation you ever had to deal with and how did you handle it? A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. I give them one more chance. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. All the other kids run, but she notices the branches he has stuck in his uniform and helmet for camo and can't even walk because she is laughing so hard. We had to ban her from the store, but I felt bad. The man begins fidgeting even more than before and swaying, all way giggling hysterically. As he does this, my dads partner orders the driver to exit the vehicle and place his hands on the hood of the car. Reddit contributor Cold_toast_n_butter tells the story of a friend who called 911 when he was a kid because his aunt was having a baby. 20. When he does, my dad sees his partner recoil, turn to the squad car where my dad is and mouth the words "angel dust", which is PCP. I've actually evaded a chase like that. Over the police radio for 30 second all you hear is DMX - X gonna give it to ya, "Fuck what you heard, it's what you're hearing...". The thread started with an excellent question, ‘Police of reddit, what is the funniest thing someone you are arresting has said? A vegetable peeler in her pocket. Source: Reddit (Credit: KellHound270, Original Story) 360. They proceed to place some music to get pumped up. In a split second it changed from happy to sad to confused to annoyed back to confused as he stares at two police officers and a scarecrow in handcuffs. The hammer was to fuck someone up. Are there laws protecting aggressive wildlife? Dedicated to your stories and ideas. I'd expect having to come back at all would be enough to get them a noise violation. His partner tries once more to demand to know what the man is carrying, but cannot get a word in past the giggles at this point. We get another call to the area. He signals my dad to report a possible gun, so my dad goes and quickly reports that they may be dealing with a man on PCP with a gun. No ticket that night. Not me, but I have a family member in the Highway Patrol. I ended up having a female patrol meet me there and try and search her as delicately as possible. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The napkins was to clean up the bloody mess. So he takes the jailor out to the squad car, swings open the door and shows him the guy. They end transmission but radio button gets stuck on seat belt buckle. Long story short, he had me a hide a meat ball in a roll so he would sneak it past the lunch lady. Some sports meet thing just ended, and people were milling around at the various food stands students set up. Third time is because of a fight on the front lawn. 1.1k votes, 1.8k comments. Being an undercover police officer isn't always as ridiculous as Donnie Brasco, Reservoir Dogs, and Kindergarten Cop make it seem. Law enforcement abuse stories regarding: abuse of power, corruption, and other misfortunes in developing police states. "We cannot expect people to have respect for law and order until we teach respect to those we have entrusted to enforce those laws." My dads partner nods at him to be ready, preps for a moment, and then yanks the guy's pants down. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/TopicLinksContainer.361933014be843c79476.css.map*/._2ppRhKEnnVueVHY_G-Ursy{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:22px 0 0;min-height:200px;overflow:hidden;position:relative}._2KLA5wMaJBHg0K2z1q0ci_{margin:0 -7px -8px}._1zdLtEEpuWI_Pnujn1lMF2{bottom:0;position:absolute;right:52px}._3s18OZ_KPHs2Ei416c7Q1l{margin:0 0 22px;position:relative}.LJjFa8EhquYX8xsTnb9n-{filter:grayscale(40%);position:absolute;top:11px}._2Zjw1QfT_iMHH7rfaGsfBs{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;background:linear-gradient(180deg,rgba(0,121,211,.24),rgba(0,121,211,.12));border-radius:50%;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;height:25px;-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center;margin:0 auto;width:25px}._2gaJVJ6_j7vwKV945EABN9{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);border-radius:50%;height:15px;width:15px;z-index:1} The other two squad cars pull up and the officers jump out, hands on their weapons just in case. hahahahha i just imagined him whippin out some proper clothes and you almost runnin into him as he suddenly pops a squat on the bench. Press J to jump to the feed. I picked it up, and as my hands transported it closer to my face so I could take a closer look at its retracted head, my brain went "Wait, you idiot!! His partner just gets out the words "Cuff him and throw him the back, his face completely red. Police Stories elevates tactics & forces to make split second decisions … Classic dementia symptoms. 4.Boyfriend is refusing to bring her casserole. Also, hurray for the internet, or I would be missing the tip of my nose. I arrested a guy for DUI last year. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Cop was not happy. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. The pinwheel was to randomly select her next target. At that moment the woman pulled a vial of horse semen from between her breasts and explained how she was a horse breeder and needed to get the sample to its location for insemination before it went bad. I can just imagine the smart, but stoned, teenage brain thinking..."I have a brilliant idea". I'm not a cop but I have a story. Summer Smith-August 30, 2013. Some of these seem too ridiculous to be true. ", haha not happening. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The man waddles out of the car while giggling and places his hands on the left side of the hood. So drunk friend decides to shove a bunch of change in her mouth. He asked him if was on any medication, who he was, and what was in his pants. And if you check out this list filled with police humor compiled by Bored Panda, you will see that they most certainly do. Back in the 1990s we had this swanky new computer lab on campus - thing is, it only opened office hours, wtf we were all in classes then. By Gabriella Paiella. He pulled over a guy who was speeding, and the guy was being kind of smart with him. 15 Funny Short Stories Hilarious. .LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH{fill:var(--newRedditTheme-actionIcon);height:18px;width:18px}.LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH rect{stroke:var(--newRedditTheme-metaText)}._3J2-xIxxxP9ISzeLWCOUVc{height:18px}.FyLpt0kIWG1bTDWZ8HIL1{margin-top:4px}._2ntJEAiwKXBGvxrJiqxx_2,._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{height:24px;vertical-align:middle;width:24px}._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-inline-flexbox;display:inline-flex;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center} By. They get out of their cars with guns drawn and shout at me to freeze, come to them, get on the ground, and other things I can’t make out from behind their masks. So my dad goes and gets the jailor, but doesnt tell him what to expect, thinking itd be more entertaining. Get ready for a hurricane of LOL as you read all these funny short stories. Chinese cops are just like their counterparts everywhere … ._3-SW6hQX6gXK9G4FM74obr{display:inline-block;vertical-align:text-bottom;width:16px;height:16px;font-size:16px;line-height:16px} To each question the man only giggled, but giggled even harder and began to fidget when they mentioned what was in the back of his pants. — Hunter S. Thompson 0 SHARE. The only the jailor says, much to my fathers and his partners surprise is "Godamnit not another one", grabs the shoe, pulls it out of the guys ass, and pulls him out of the car and leads him into the station. A Romanian man called police to report hearing a strange noise in the house he happened to be burgling. ... 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